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  • Writer's pictureGail Debono

My Pregnancy, My Way!

Updated: Dec 12, 2021

On a radio programme yesterday, a female gynecologist and another woman, presumably a mother to perfect children, were preaching to first-time pregnant mothers to stop acting like pregnancy was an illness, adding that a pregnant mother should be expected to go on with her daily routine, naturally while paying heed to the obvious no-nos that are stretching, lifting, pushing, pulling etc. As an example, they suggested that an expectant mother who previously played tennis, should still frequent the tennis court, and simply bounce a ball around, rather than exert herself playing tennis. Now ok, I am not a fusspot by any stretch of the imagination, I’ve had more ops and health scares than I care to mention, without batting an eyelid. So a little bit of pregnancy is surely not going to stop me going about my day.

BUT, pray do tell, what is the point of going to the tennis court if not for a good game of tennis? With 20% of pregnancies resulting in natural abortion, with as yet no explanation for the how or why, forgive me if I air on the side of caution and leave my racket in its case! As a trainee psychologist my first assignment was working with parents who had lost children in utero. Having witnessed the devastating effect this has on people’s lives, marriages, and physical and mental well being, particularly because of the inability to understand the reason for the miscarriage, and resultantly blaming oneself for it, I would recommend that pregnant mothers do everything in their power to go by the book. That way, in the face of devastation, one can at least have the psychological comfort of knowing that none of it was her fault.

And to all the successfully pregnant mothers out there, with outwardly-seeming perfect offspring, a big well-done to you! Now let the rest of us do with our own pregnancies what we will. You may have been part of the 80% whose pregnancies were successful, perhaps you were lucky enough to avoid any of the dangers leading to the worst, but tell that to the 20% who went by their day as normal and woke up one morning wondering whether the loss of their child had anything to do with them.

Now as an end note, I must add that I am very well aware that natural abortions don’t only happen because of something a mother did or didn’t do, and that they are nature’s way of stopping what it deems to be a potentially unsuccessful growth, but wouldn’t you rather know that you did all you could? So by all means, rest and ask for help all you want, it’s your pregnancy and your child, have it your way!

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